Optimal Health Institute

December 2009 Newsletter

 This month’s articles:

Coping with Holiday Stress

Grief and the Holidays

Tips to Avoid Holiday Weight Gain

10 Easy Ways to Boost Your Immunity

13 Simple Tips for Seriously Better Sex (Part I of III)

Coping with Holiday Stress

Note from Sandra: I recycled this from one of the first newsletters I wrote – back in 2005. But as many of our OHI family have joined us since then, I thought the article was worth including again – as it has excellent advice (especially in these economic times).

A time of festivity, parties, shopping, entertaining, religious observances, family gatherings and decorating, the holiday season can be full of excitement and promise. However, with this time of year inevitably comes stress. For many, the first signs of holiday stress begin around Halloween, when store shelves begin to be stocked with Christmas decorations and candies. People start to feel the clock is ticking and that there is not enough time to fit in everything. We often have higher expectations for this time of year than for any other, which places even more pressure on us and increases the likelihood we may end up disappointed.

Signs of stress may include feeling impatient, worried, and cranky and in some cases depressed. People might experience sleep or appetite disturbances, or other physical complaints such as muscle tension, headache, fatigue or stomachaches.

The following are some tips to help you minimize holiday stress. Major themes in these recommendations include:

• Simplify.

• Let go of unrealistic expectations, particularly the desire for perfection.

• Invest your energies wisely.

Start by thinking about what the holiday season means to you

• What are you celebrating?

• What values do you think of when you think of your holiday? Are you practicing them?

• Consider past holidays. Where did you invest your energy? Was it worth it?

• As a family, consider the traditions and rituals that you practice. Which ones do you and your family enjoy? Which ones bring your family closer together? Sometimes the simplest rituals are the most meaningful. It’s okay to re-evaluate past traditions and let go of some.

Gift giving

• Set a holiday budget.

• Do not equate love with cost and quantity of gifts.

• Consider giving the gift of your time and service – if you have the time to do so.

• Ask people what they want instead of searching for the perfect gift.

• Shop early so there is more of a selection and you have time to really choose.

• Don’t head toward the mall in 5 o’clock traffic or during peak times.

• Shop on the Internet.

Entertaining

• Who says the house has to be perfectly clean or elaborately decorated?

• Who says you need to serve a gourmet meal? Ask others to bring their favorite dish. Use paper plates. Buy prepared foods.

• Cook and freeze foods ahead of time.

• Think simple, and focus on the purpose of the get together!

Getting together with family

• Evaluate past holidays and traditions, and consider any changes in the family structure that may need to be considered (marriages, remarriages, divorces, deaths). Be flexible and willing to let go of ideas of the way things “should be.”

• Share responsibilities so the pressure does not fall on one person (e.g., rotate homes, potluck).

• Plan to visit some friends and family soon after the holidays. There is no need to squeeze everything in before the New Year.

• Don’t get hung up on celebrating on the actual holiday. Time together is what matters.

• Allow enough time to relax and recover after visiting with others. Children need this, too.

• Tell your family about your commitments so you are not struggling against their expectations.

• Travel after rush hour. When driving long distances, make time to stop and rest. Get out, walk around and do some stretching.

Managing your time

• Consider past holidays and where you invested your energy. Decide to rid yourself of the things you dislike about the holidays.

• Don’t spend the holidays just fulfilling obligations. Pick and chose what you want to do rather than what you think others expect you to do.

• Set priorities and let go of impossible goals. Don’t try to complete everything at once.

• Don’t over-schedule yourself and your family. Leave some time unplanned to relax and just be at home with each other.

• Don’t accept every invitation. Chose the events you want to attend.

• Ask others to help you complete chores. (Don’t wait until offered; you may be disappointed.)

• Take breaks.

• Learn to say no. People will understand if you can’t do it all. If you say yes only to the things you really want to do, you’ll avoid feeling overwhelmed and resentful.

Take care of yourself

• Don’t abandon your healthy habits. The holidays are not a dietary free-for-all (see tips for moderation below). Get adequate sleep. Eat regular meals. Don’t abandon your exercise routine.

• Plan pleasurable activities each day.

• Don’t let your “to-do” list control you. Set realistic goals for yourself.

• Spend time with supportive people.

• Take breaks. Rest when your body tells you to. Spending just a few minutes alone may refresh you enough to help you keep going. Take a walk alone; listen to soothing music – whatever helps you feel calm and in control.

• Practice relaxation exercises (i.e., stretching, deep breathing, yoga, meditation)

By far, one of the most important things you can do for yourself is give yourself the gift of reflection and of being in the moment.

One of the best ways to slow down the hectic pace of the holidays is to take advantage of “opportunities” to wait. We have to wait in line in traffic, at malls, in the grocery store, in doctor’s offices. Opportunities to wait are even greater during this time of year. Rather than spending that time feeling irritated and looking at your watch and to-do list, you might try the following:

• Embrace this time as a gift.

• Use this waiting time for reflection on the meaning of life and on the meaning of the holiday season.

• Observe how you are feeling emotionally (e.g., irritable, frantic, impatient) and physically (e.g., tense, hunched shoulders, clenched fists, tapping foot).

• Examine where your thoughts are.

• Challenge yourself to let go of your agenda and appreciate the moment.

• Observe those around you. Interact with someone.

• Practice slow, deep breathing. Focus on your breath and your belly as it rises and falls.

The holiday blues

For some, the holidays can be a depressing time. Feelings of sadness, loneliness, grief and anger can intensify when contrasted with the joy expected of the holidays. Factors that can contribute to holiday depression include:

• Associating the holidays with unresolved family issues or a painful childhood experience

• Having an expectation that you “should” feel happy

• Facing the loss of a loved one with whom you have shared the holidays

• Having unrealistic expectations of family and friends

• Being away from family and friends; feeling isolated from others

• Reflecting on losses or disappointments over the past year

• Coping with changes in family obligations or disruptions of traditions due to recent marriages, remarriages, divorce or death

Coping with holiday depression

• If there has been a recent loss, you may want to do something different like take a vacation with a family member or friend.

• Spend time with people who care about you. Do not isolate yourself. If you feel there is no one available, then reach out to others in need.

• Attend a religious service or community gathering (e.g., candle lighting ceremony, public concerts).

• Allow yourself some time to reflect on your losses, and feel the sadness and loneliness.

• Family and friends may be concerned; let them know what you need from them.

• Rethink resolutions – make sure they are realistic so you are not setting yourself up for failure. Set smaller, realistic goals with a reasonable time frame. Choose resolutions that help you feel valuable and improve your sense of self-esteem and self-efficacy.

• Make some plans for after the New Year to help avoid the post-holiday let down. 

• Forget about being perfect. Expect and accept imperfections – both in yourself and in others.

• If you are lonely, try volunteering some time to help others.

• Find holiday activities that are free, such as looking at holiday decorations; going window-shopping without buying and watching the winter weather whether it’s a snowflake, or a raindrop.

• Limit your drinking, since excessive drinking will only increase your feelings of depression.

• Get help if you need it. If you find that despite your best efforts at putting on a happy face you are feeling sad, anxious, having sleep or appetite problems, feeling irritable or hopeless, you may be clinically depressed. Talk to your doctor, a mental health professional, or minister or rabbi.

(Compiled from The Mayo Clinic and The Cleveland Clinic Foundation © 1995-2005)

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Grief and the Holidays

By Jane Galbraith

Note from Sandra: I promise I won’t continue articles on grief forever, but given the feedback I received last month on dealing with grief during Thanksgiving, and the requests I had for a similar article on how to get through Christmas with grief, I have included this article. If you have lost someone and are experiencing grief, please let me know if this is helpful and if there is anything else I can do to help.

The first Christmas without my mother was agony. Actually the month before was probably worse than the day itself. Because my mother had been sick between December 6 and January 11, I relived the whole month, which included Christmas and New Year’s Day. I tried to do things that I had done with my mother in hopes of making everything ”all right”. But of course, it would never be the same.

Grief causes physical and emotional pain. Baby Boomers have come to expect instant pain relief in this fast paced society. Unfortunately, Baby Boomers will be facing this chapter in their lives in a culture that does not give grief the respect or validation it deserves. Grief is an emotion that our society does not want to discuss.

We have been inundated with expressions such as “get on with life” and “closure” and “getting back to normal”. None of these expressions or attitudes helps the grief stricken.

The holidays create even more pain to those grieving. They are a painful reminder of those who are no longer in our lives on a daily basis. What should be a festive and happy time does not feel like it for the grief stricken.

There is an enormous amount of pressure to act “normal” during these holiday times. This seems like an insurmountable task at this time. It is exhausting.

Here are some things that may help you get through these difficult situations:

• Give yourself permission to feel whatever it is you feel. If journaling or using a support group or special person generally helps, then make sure you take advantage of them during holiday times.

• Keep up any traditions that the deceased person started and you can continue. It helps you feel you are honoring the deceased.

• Try to establish new traditions that make you and your family feel good about the holiday or include activities you enjoy.

• Talk about your loved one with friends and family and encourage them to share favorite stories with you.

• Take care of yourself during this stressful time. Anything that makes you feel better should be done. This could be a long walk, massage, listening to music and getting enough sleep.

• Holidays are a difficult time but there are ways to get through them without hiding from the pain. Even though the holidays may not be as celebratory as last year, the days pass and you do survive!!!

Jane Galbraith, BScN, R.N., is the author of “Baby Boomers Face Grief – Survival and Recovery”. Her work in the community health field included dealing with palliative clients and their bereaved families and has also assisted facilitating grief support groups. She speaks to many organizations about the subject. Her book is available through the author directly at jane.galbraith@sympatico.ca or www.amazon.ca . More information about the book can be found at www.trafford.com/05-2319. © 2008 Jane Galbraith

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Tips to Avoid Holiday Weight Gain

1. Stick closely to your exercise routine during the holiday season. A brisk walk, a visit to your gym, seasonal sports such as ice skating, skiing or swimming – depending on where you are – are all great choices for burning calories, reducing stress and boosting your metabolism.

2. Be careful before parties! Don’t let yourself get too hungry before you join the fun. If you get hungry in between meals during the day, eat a small snack every 2 -3 hours. Yogurts with active cultures, string cheese, a power bar (one lower in sugar, higher in fiber), a few slices of fresh sliced turkey, or a small handful of walnuts, are all good mid-meal snacks.

3. When eating out with the family, avoid the breadbasket. Have a proper appetizer, preferably a salad or a side of steamed vegetables, which is filled with fiber. Always pass on the butter and reach for healthy olive oil instead.

4. Don’t skip breakfast – always have a well-balanced breakfast packed with protein. Most people mistakenly want to save room for the best holiday meal – dinner – and think skipping breakfast will help them lose weight. However, having a good breakfast stabilizes blood sugar and appetite so you eat less and stay more balanced throughout the day. You won’t over stuff yourself.

5. In addition to drinking your eight daily 8 oz. glasses of water, when socializing, drink one glass of water for every alcoholic beverage consumed. Stick to red wine whenever possible for additional health benefits. Avoid alcoholic mixed drinks as often as you can, because they have high sugar content. Save them for a rare, special occasion.

6. Stay away from rich desserts. Opt instead for fruit or fruit-based desserts. Berries with a spot of cognac can hit the spot. Fruit sorbet or small amounts of semi-sweet dark chocolate are both delicious treats that can do the trick.

7. From holiday shopping, to party planning, to the kids’ evening play rehearsal, you can still find some time and place to fit in physical activity. Try to make it a habit, but be flexible. Instead of sitting while watching winter play practice, march in place – keep your knees high. Or try speed shopping. Lace up those sneakers and move! Before you know it your shopping will be done.

8. Be mindful of hidden sugars and fats and watch out for the extra calories in gravy, sauces, salad dressings and dessert toppings.

9. Weight control doesn’t mean you have to feel deprived. Did you know that the average meal is consumed in less than six minutes while it takes 15 minutes for your stomach to tell your brain it is full? Take the time to thoroughly enjoy your dinner by eating slowly and savoring each bite. Remove your plate or leave the table before you’re stuffed to avoid feeling bloated and tired later. And remember – use portion sense. Don’t heap on the double servings.

10. Remember: The point of holiday gatherings is to celebrate, not to eat. Mingle with friends and loved ones instead of hovering around the buffet table.

11. Be selective…don’t load up at the buffet table. Keep portion sizes small by putting your snacks on a small plate instead of a large one and limiting your trips to the buffet.

12. Scan the buffet for shrimp with cocktail sauce – virtually fat free and high in protein, iron, and the antioxidant lycopene.

13. Switch out of holiday mode as soon as the party’s over; don’t turn Thanksgiving through New Year’s into one long binge.

14. Save calories for only new, interesting foods; have one taste of each.

15. Indulge in a single serving of your favorite holiday treat at a restaurant with a friend, instead of testing your willpower by keeping it around the house.

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10 Easy Ways to Boost Your Immunity:

    
      From what you eat to where you sleep, simple lifestyle changes can help your body develop defenses that are not too weak, not too strong, but just right

Mary Ellen Strote

If someone asked you what kind of immune system you wanted, you’d probably say one that’s tough as nails, a real fighting machine. But be careful what you wish for. “You don’t want to strengthen your immunity as much as you want to optimize it,” says Lee Berk, Dr.P.H. M.P.H., an assistant professor of family medicine at the University of California, Irvine, College of Medicine.

In other words, your self-defense system needs to be strong enough to keep bacteria and viruses from entering your body and multiplying, and to reestablish health when disease does gain a foothold. But your immune response can be too powerful. When that happens, your immune system can mistake your own tissues for invaders, causing autoimmune illnesses like allergies or lupus. So rather than picturing your immune system as a mighty battalion of warriors fending off disease, picture it instead as a 911 dispatcher whose job is to communicate with your body’s other watchdog systems, especially the hormones from your endocrine system and the brain chemicals from your nervous system.

You probably know that avoiding stress can improve immunity, but there are also plenty of less obvious ways. “We’re still in the horse-and-buggy era of understanding how the immune system works,” Berk says, “but we do have a few pieces of the puzzle. Research shows that when you do simple, everyday activities that make you feel good, you also stay healthier. This is a case of science catching up with intuition.” Here are 10 of those ways:

1.  Go out and mingle: Your immune system likes it when you spend time with friends. “We have phenomenal data showing the value of nurturing, social support and camaraderie,” says neurologist Barry Bittman, M.D., CEO of the Mind-Body Wellness Center in Meadville, Pa. In one such study, researchers exposed people to a cold virus and then monitored how many contacts those people had with friends, family, co-workers and members of church and community groups. The more social contacts the people had – and the more diverse the contacts – the less likely they were to catch the cold. Touch is important too: Giving or getting hugs or other forms of touch can boost the activity of the natural killer cells that seek out and destroy cancer cells or cells that have been invaded by viruses. 
2. Listen to Beethoven (or Beatles): Listening to music can boost your immunity, but it has to be music you love. “Something that calms one person might rile another,” Berk says. “The trick is finding music that soothes your soul.” Scientists at McGill University in Montreal found that listening to music that sent “shivers down the spine” or that gave people chills stimulated the same “feel-good” parts of the brain that are activated by food and sex. “Even better than listening to music is making it,” says Bittman, who found that people who took part in an amateur group-drumming session had greatly enhanced natural killer-cell activity afterward.
3.  Turn down the volume: Noise hurts more than your ears. Any unwanted and intrusive sound can trigger muscle tension, speed heartbeat, constrict blood vessels and cause digestive upsets – the same response your body has to being startled or stressed. Chronic exposure to noise can lead to even longer-lasting changes in blood pressure, cholesterol levels and immune function. Cornell University research found that women who work in moderately noisy offices produce more of the stress hormone adrenaline and may be more vulnerable to heart disease than women who work in quiet offices. Even worse are unwelcome sounds you perceive as uncontrollable, such as car alarms, barking dogs and P.A. systems. Try to take control over the noise in your environment, even if it means wearing earplugs or asking the restaurant owner or gym manager to turn down the music.
4.  Look on the bright side: The immune system takes many of its cues from our thoughts and feelings, so try to keep your outlook upbeat. Years ago, Mayo Clinic researchers found that people who were optimists in their youth tended to live 12 years longer than pessimists. A recent study by Anna L. Marsland, Ph.D., R.N., a psychologist at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center, found that people who were negative, moody, nervous and easily stressed had a weaker immune response to a hepatitis vaccination than their more positive peers. Negativity is a personality trait that’s difficult to change, but if wearing rose-colored glasses can improve your immunity, why not try on a pair?
5.  Eat right: Any kind of nutritional deficiency may lead to more frequent and prolonged illnesses. If you starve yourself, your body will think it’s under siege and pump out stress hormones. Also, dropping more than 2 pounds per week is hard on the T cells that detect diseased or foreign cells. Best advice: Choose fats carefully (omega-3s are great), get enough protein, eat your fruits and vegetables and drink plenty of fluids. “Dehydration lowers resistance,” Berk says.
6.  Laugh out loud: While painful emotions like anger and grief can impair health, laughter does the opposite. A real belly laugh increases infection-fighting antibodies and boosts natural killer-cell activity, says Berk, who has shown students funny videos and measured their immune systems’ response. “Even anticipating a humorous encounter can enhance immunity,” he says. “It happens at the molecular level.” Laughter also increases circulation, stimulates digestion, lowers blood pressure and reduces muscle tension.
7.  Use your brain: Certain kinds of thinking may boost immunity. University of California, Berkeley, neuroscientist Marian Diamond, Ph.D., found that playing bridge stimulated women’s immune systems. Her research is the first to show a connection between the immune system and the part of the brain that handles planning, memory, initiative, judgment and abstract thinking. Says Diamond: “Any mental activity that uses one or a combination of these intellectual functions might benefit immune activity.”
8. Move your body: Regular, moderate exercise can boost several aspects of your body’s self-defense system. “Physical activity not only strengthens your cardiovascular system,” Berk says, “It improves your mood and reduces stress as well.” Many studies show that long-term training also elevates natural killer-cell activity. But don’t push too hard: If you’re already under emotional stress, you might want to avoid exercising beyond your usual level. And if your training is unusually prolonged and intense, your risk for illness and infection goes up (see “How to Stay Healthy,” below, for suggestions).
9.  Learn how to relax: Stress jacks up your body’s production of cortisol and adrenaline, hormones that lower immune response. No wonder you’re more likely to come down with a cold or the flu when faced with stressful situations like final exams or relationship problems. Stress-induced anxiety also can inhibit natural killer-cell activity. If practiced regularly, any of the well-known relaxation techniques — from aerobic exercise and progressive muscle relaxation to meditation, prayer and chanting — help block release of stress hormones and increase immune function.
10. Douse the night light: Only when it’s really dark does your body produce melatonin, a hormone that helps prevent certain diseases. Not sleeping enough, or being exposed to light during the night, decreases melatonin production and boosts estrogen levels, increasing breast-cancer risk. In fact, recent studies have found a higher risk of breast cancer — up to 60 percent greater — among women who work the graveyard shift, and possibly an even greater increase among women with the brightest bedrooms. Not surprisingly, blind women have an approximate 20-50 percent reduction in breast-cancer risk. Even a dim source like a bedside clock or a night light may switch melatonin production off, so keep your bedroom as dark as possible.

Mary Ellen Strote is a Southern California free-lance writer.

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13 Simple Tips for Seriously Better Sex

(Part I of III)

Never in the mood? These surprising secrets will have you craving more by tonight.

By the editors of Prevention.com

Get Your Sex Drive Back

Can you remember the last time you couldn’t wait to get home and shimmy between the sheets?

Was it last week, last month? Last…year? We get it: Sometimes it’s easier to give into your excuses—I’m too tired, let’s just do it this weekend, it doesn’t even feel that great to begin with. But we don’t need to tell you that sex is essential for a healthy marriage—and also a healthy you. Research shows that a happy sex life can stamp out stress, reduce heart disease risk, and even improve immunity. But enough of the non-sexy talk. Try just one of these libido-lifting tricks today. You can thank us later.

1. Take a Lunchtime Stroll

Research shows that the more fit you are, the more sex you’ll crave.

In a study of women ages 45 to 55, sexual satisfaction correlated directly to fitness. “The less exercise they got, the lower their desire and sexual satisfaction,” says study author Judith R. Gerber, PhD, a psychologist at the University Of Vermont College Of Medicine.

2. Book a Rubdown

A pampering massage not only relieves stress …

…but “the skin-on-skin contact stimulates the sex hormone oxytocin,” says Ian Kerner, PhD, author of She Comes First. “The more oxytocin released, the more desire a woman will feel.” If you don’t want to spring for a full hour-plus session (which can cost $100 or more), tack on a 10-minute session at the nail salon after a manicure. Note from Sandra (an hour massage at OHI is NOT $100 or more!)

3. Read Something Hot

Skip the evening news and flip through a sexy novel instead.

Erotic literature “can quickly jump-start arousal,” says Carol Queen, PhD, a sexologist who works at Good Vibrations, a female-owned sex shop in San Francisco. She recommends the Herotica series, written by women, and The Diary of Anais Nin. “Perfect for anyone who’s not ready to get into bold four-letter words,” says Queen.

4. Get Really Relaxed

Just a few meditation sessions can jack up your sex drive and speed arousal.

Researchers at Canada’s University of British Columbia and Israel’s Hadassah University Hospital measured reactions among 24 women watching an erotic film, then again after the subjects had attended three mindfulness meditation courses. Watching the same movie, the women were markedly more turned on than during the first viewing. “Mindfulness can directly change brain processing and allow women to experience arousal more acutely,” says study coauthor Lori Brotto, PhD.

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